A few years ago I was in a show with a lot of young people.
One teenage girl said to me, “You’re such a MILF, Kelly.” To which I replied,
“I’m sorry, but I don’t speak Yiddish.” (I was trying to be funny, but honestly,
I had no idea as to what the hello she had just called me) She started laughing
and said, “A MILF is mother I’d like to f***.” To which I replied, “Well,
shouldn’t it be a MILTF, then?”  My comment only brought more laughter.

That night I remember feeling a little down because I had always
thought of myself as a teenager. Suddenly, I had been slapped with the reality
that, no; I’m no longer a teenager, but a middle-aged mother. It’s odd because
I get on quite well with teenagers………and children……..and adults……...and
seniors…….and mentally ill people…..and.....well, you get my point!

I had an epiphany then: You’re only as old as you feel,
Kells! (For some strange reason I seem to recall having heard that saying before).

So here I am, happily living in this female-middle-aged
body, when along comes @QuantumStorm (whom I affectionately refer to as Q.) to
tell folks all about women of my “age”. (Being in his twenties, he is an
expert, after all)

According to Q., I’m going through menopause and have no sex
drive. Neither could be farther from the truth. I just finished the menses Saturday, (always a joyous week)

And the latter? I would kindly ask that Q. please speak to my husband
to confirm if there is any veracity in his statement. My husband will disprove
your fallacious fairytales, luv. (In Q.’s defense, he did say that this did not
apply to ALL women of my age).

Perhaps I just love sex because I quit smoking? (Must be that whole oral fixation thing) Speaking
of which, I quit smoking 6 months ago, 10/2/2011. (I think that’s 6 months, but
I’m not so great at math). I had tried everything. Finally, after 22 years, it took
this fast, hawt and beautiful girl to do the trick for me (reckon we all have
different MOTIVATIONS) Ain’t she sweet:

Okay, so I forgot to wear unders!

Admittedly, I also got a bit miffed when my sweet angel
baby, Q., accused older women of trying to compete with younger chicks to get a
fella. Reality: I don’t feel the need to compete. Were I single, I wouldn’t
feel the need to compete. (Let’s face it, the choice a fella and a chick make
are THEIR choices. In other words, you’ve made your bed so YOU must lie in it).

Kinda reminds me of a show I auditioned for where the director gave the role to a cute young thang over me. She was a very sweet and hawt chick, but I knew what would happen and it did: The show failed miserably. (Not  to rub it in, but to rub it in; it actually bombed big time) Reckon it's like Mama Rose says, "You either got it or you ain’t, and boys I got it." Not that I’m a braggadocio, I’m just a braggadocio. ;)

I suppose I just need to brush off these silly comments. For
instance, I bought into the whole argument from my mom that I was too old for
my long hair. Well, guess what? I’m growin it out again, mom!

I miss my long hair, and damnit, I think I can still pull it
off as well as pull off wearin polka dots! Here I am before being
mercilessly shorn:

I live in Paradise. You can swim with your eyes open and the sand is as white as snow…..

Oh, getting back on topic; in Q’s defense, (because I’m
terribly fond of him) I am not in the age range to which he referred (30-44) ..................…………I’m older.

Just out of curiousity, am I an anomaly or are there more
middle-aged women like me? (I believe that @BoulderChristina, @tiredsoverytired
and @seedsower are like-minded women, er, teenagers).